Case Study: How a great ‘About’ page can turn browsers into buyers

As a copywriter, I see a lot of ‘About’ pages. Some of them are great, and some of them, well, they need a little work.

Here’s a case study of an ‘About’ page I revised for an allied health professional. As you will see, most of my changes were simple…so you can do them too.

Allied Health Professional’s ‘About’ page – Before and After


The issue

I worked with this client on a Web Copy Audit. As part of that process, we established that their ‘About’ page was letting them down. You can see my initial comments on their ‘About’ page in the first image.

Desired outcome

During the Audit, we takled about what they wanted their ‘About’ page to do and they decided they wanted it to :

  • showcase their professional skills and
  • generate bookings for their service.

And after a little more discussion we established that they also wanted an engaging tone and simple language so that their potential clients felt comfortable making an enquiry.

Having spent time with them working on who they serve and how they help them, I was able to review their ‘About’ page and you will see the results of this in the second image.

The process

I changed the order of their words and added headings, bullets and buttons that address customer pain points. I also interpreted some of the jargon so that the language was closer to what clients would use. These changes make the second version more engaging.

As this client has requested anonymity, names, images and details have been changed. Here is the ‘Before’ page.


The result

Here is the rewritten page.

You will see that the ideas in the copy are the same, but they are presented with headings and bullet points which ‘guide’ the reader through the text. I also:

  • used ‘Plain English’ so potential clients would feel comfortable talking to Claudette and
  • addressed a number of ‘Pain points’ potential clients would have about seeking help from an occupational therapist. These pain points are:
    • frustration that nothing has worked so far,
    • concern that this will be another failed attempt, and
    • a fear of what is to come next.

These pain points are addressed in the headings and also in the text that talks about personalised care.

The action they’re being asked to take (call Claudette) is also much clearer and the two personal touches – the quote under the image and last line about what Claudette does in her free time – make her seem much more approachable than many others in the mental health field.

Since our work on the ‘About’ page, it’s been pretty clear that most people would prefer the second version and Claudette is seeing clients who really need her help. Which is a fantastic outcome.

Next steps

So, if you have an ‘About’ page that needs work, you have three options: