Case Study: What is it you do again?

As a business writing coach, I regularly come across long boring website bios and patient information docs that actually get in the way of explaining what people do. Your web documents are supposed to make it easy for your ideal client work out if you will be able to help them and if the two of you would be a good fit for each other.

More often than not, I find myself asking ‘what is it you do again?’ when their website is meant to explain all that.

Here’s an example of what I did for an allied health professional, Claudette (not her real name). Her bio was full of jargon, had little flow and contained distinctions most of her clients wouldn’t care about even if they could understand them. So, I re-wrote it and not only was the bio clearer and more engaging, but it also gave potential clients a strong sense of what it would be like to work with Claudette. Which is, in fact, what a web bio is supposed to do.

Before

Claudette is an occupational therapist with over 20 years experience in the mental health field.  She has worked both in the private and public sector, facilitating group therapy programs, individual assessments and treatment plans, and also works with families.  She is currently working at South Beach Private Hospital and teaches at Bond University in the School of Occupational Therapy.  Claudette is now available for private consultations at South Beach Specialist Centre on Mondays, ph 1234 5678.

Claudette works from an occupational frame of reference, and takes a functional approach when considering the needs of her clients.  She uses the models of OT to inform her practice, which have a practical, action-orientated focus. This approach works beautifully alongside the psychotherapeutic counseling.  Her experience as an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy counselor brings together again the idea that talking therapy is complimented with functional activity, which can be graded and integrated into all aspects of the person’s life.  Her approach is holistic and takes into consideration how the person interacts with their environment, occupation, support systems and themselves.

Areas of specialty include: Mother and baby (post natal depression, sleep and settling, attachment issues, adjusting to role of parenting, developing routines, establishing support networks) Anxiety and depression (maintaining function at home, socially and at work, practical skills to reduce symptoms) Pain management (energy conservation, joint protection, developing a different, more functional relationship with pain) Claudette is committed to helping people with a mental illness live an active, connected and meaningful life.

 After

Claudette is an occupational therapist with over 20 years’ experience in the mental health field.  She works with individuals and families to create treatment plans and conduct mental health assessments. She also teaches at Bond University in the School of Occupational Therapy.

Claudette believes that all talking therapies are complemented by physical activity, so she includes individually tailored activity plans that people can integrate into their everyday lives.

For example, her work with a new mother might include counselling around post-natal depression as well as plans to help build daily routines, establish support networks and build in small moments of exercise daily. Clients might start with ensuring proper posture whilst feeding and gradually work up to daily walks.

When clients work with Claudette, they can expect to have a holistic and practical program that takes into account how they interact with their environment, job, support systems and selves.

Claudette’s areas of speciality include mother and baby, anxiety and depression, and pain management. She is committed to helping people with a mental illness live an active, connected and meaningful life.

Claudette can be contacted on 1234 5678.

So, if you want to turn your cluttered, jargon-heavy communication into something your clients will read and understand, contact me today.