Changing passive voice to active voice

If you’ve ever written a report that’s left even you falling asleep as you check for errors, chances are you wrote it in the passive voice. Here’s a case study showing you how to change passive to active voice.

Changing passive voice to active voice

Here are two paragraphs that say exactly the same thing. One is passive, the other active. Which do you prefer?

Version 1

Significant savings have been made in the Geelong manufacturing plant this quarter as a result of the Hankerson packaging process change. The change had been implemented by the production team in March and was found to have resulted in a reduction of 50% in packaging waste. Less product damage in transport was also noted due to the durability of the new packaging. The overall packaging cost reduction of 25% was attributed to the replacement of the Bells packaging system with the Hankerson product, which had been identified as a potential area for improvement during the last audit. Further analysis of the data is being conducted to assess the overall productivity of the Geelong plant post-implementation. Further potential areas for improvement and a consideration of whether or not the change can be rolled out nationally will also be considered.

Version 2

The production team at the Geelong processing plant implemented a new packaging process that resulted in significant cost savings this quarter. The change involved using a more efficient packaging material (Hankerson’s) that was found to reduce packaging waste by 50%. Additionally, the Hankerson material was more durable, resulting in less product damage during transportation. As a result of the change, we were able to reduce our packaging costs by 25% and improve the quality of the final product. The production team is currently analysing the data to:

  • evaluate the overall productivity of the plant post-implementation
  • identify any further potential areas for improvement and
  • determine if the change can be rolled out nationally.

It’s the second version, right?

Write in the active voice so your readers don’t fall asleep half way down the page.

Want more Writing Tips & Tricks like this straight into your inbox? Subscribe to my newsletter.

One email a month. Unsubscribe at any time.